Can't you see me
by Chrome83
Summary: How did we get there ? That's what I keep wondering everyday since it happened. Since the day you started acting weird, since the day you started ignoring me. The painful look in your tired eyes, those lips of yours that haven't smiled since that night, that single tear that you sometimes let fall down when nobody's around, I can see it...


**Hi everyone !**

 **Here is a little something I wrote a week ago (but I couldn't post it since I don't have a computer...). Though it's really short, I'm pretty proud of it, so I hope you'll enjoy it ! But before you start reading, you must know that I'm french and this is my first time writing something in english. So if there are any mistakes, please feel free to tell me so I can fix them !**

 **Well, that's it ! Please enjoy ~**

 **Disclamer : Haikyuu! and it's characters belong to Haruichi Furudate-sensei !**

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 **Can't you see me ?**

How did we get there ? That's what I keep wondering everyday since it happened. Since the day you started acting weird, since the day you started ignoring me. I don't know why you keep faking you don't see me when I'm right in front of you. It's always like you don't see me, and everytime I feel like crying. Why do you keep on playing this game ? I know we feel the same ; I know you want this to end, just like I do. I can see it, it's written on your face. The painful look in your tired eyes, those lips of yours that haven't smiled since that night, that single tear that you sometimes let fall down when nobody's around, I can see it. And I would like to run straight towards you and embrace you in my arms to take away your pain, but I never seem to find the courage to do so.

How did we get there ? Once again this question is stuck in my mind as I'm watching you from across the road. It's been two weeks now and nothing changed at all. You're walking down the street, alone, and today, I decided to follow you. I sometimes do, just to make sure you're okay, even if you seem to hate me now. Because I still want to protect you like you always protected me. I can't see your face from behind, but I know you are not smiling like you used to do so. And it's like I can't even remember how bright your smile used to be back then. Now you always seem so sad and on the verge of tears, and I wonder why you keep inflicting such a pain to yourself. And to me.

If you feel so bad about what happened, please just stop acting like I'm not even here ! Just stop ignoring me so I can finally properly apologize and we can finally be happy again. I know I hurt you, but please let me fix my mistakes. Just give me this chance ! Please, let me finally see your smile again, let me hold you again. Please kiss me like you used to, rub my hair and tell me how stupid I am. I miss all those little things so much and I'd give eveything to have them back. I can't bear to see you feeling so down. But everytime I open my mouth, the words I want to tell you stay stucked in my throat and I can't make a sound. There's so much I want to tell you, but I'm so afraid. I don't want you to yell at me, I'm afraid that you are still mad at me, and I don't want to relive this night.

So I just stand, looking at you, tears in my eyes.

You turn around the corner of the street, and you walk into this strange park. I freeze for a second when you finally come to a stop. In the blink of an eye, tears are already rolling down my cheeks and a loud sob escapes me. I stick both of my hands over my mouth with a horrified look as I finally remember everything about that night.

You wanted to talk to me about something. You said you was feeling insecure about us because of some pictures you had seen on my phone where I seemed a little _too_ close of this Kuroo guy I had met because we were going to the same university. We were good friends and one night, we went to a party, we drank a little too much... But I never cheated on you ! There have been big hugs and kisses on the ckeeks, nothing more. I was in a relationship with you, he was in a relationship with this _megane_ guy from Karasuno. So there was no way anything could happen between us.

Still you told me you was a little worried and I got mad. I was offened that you didn't seem to trust me and I started yelling. You was yelling too —we both have strong personalities after all— and there was no way we could talk in these conditions. I was tired so I left your appartment, my whole body shaking from rage, and my eyes wet from sadness. It's since that argument that you have started to ignore me... I took my bike and I drove away, leaving you behind me. For the last time.

And now there we are. Both standing in front of my grave. Well, actually I'm not really standing next to you, but six feets on the ground, locked in my last bed—beautiful box covered with purple velvet. Everything feel clearer now. You've never been ignoring me ; It's just that I wasn't there. Yeah, I should have known that you would have never done such a thing. You're not so childish, right ?

Aah, I feel so stupid now. Sorry Iwa-chan. I'm so sorry. Everything is my fault, right ? If only I could have just been able to reassure you instead of getting mad, none of this would have happened. I would have never been hit by this truck, I would have never died, I would have never left you all alone.

Sorry... I'm sorry... Please, forgive me ! I've never meant to do this to you ! I've never meant to leave you ! It's so stupid yet so cruel, that I never got to say 'sorry', that I never got to tell you how much I love you just one more time, to take away your doubts...

I can see your crying face now and it's breaking my heart —even if I don't have one anymore. All this time for the last two weeks you were all alone, in mourning. And I was there, but not alive. That explains a lot of things... Faith is pretty cruel. But I guess this is my punishment to be still on earth even if I died, to spend everyday with you without being able to talk to you, to touch you, to apologize to you —without being able to find piece. Until the day you'll finally forgive me, I'll be with you though you can't see me, and I'll continue to love you and to cherish you, in hope to find a way to help you get through the pain and to be happy again. Without me—but I have to accept it. I love you Iwa-chan... I am so sorry...

"I forgive you" You say with a shaking voice "I love you and I forgive you, Tooru"

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 **I really hope you liked it ! Please give me your opinion, it would be really nice !**

 **See ya !~**


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